do you know why i agreed yesterday,
for driving on highways that have marked our pace of late hangouts,
because i wanted to feel you for the ever last time!
and yes, of course i could sell you a few hours from my pocket.
but this time i had decided
not to raise the differences
that have always set us apart
but to express my heart
bereft of sentiments
until it hits you hard.
i wanted to talk about somethings,
those things that you have always ignored;
can’t you realize the wheels of our cycle
that stopped coordinating a while before
and believe me,
it’s none of our faults
for the wheels have belonged to different sizes.
i matter to you and you mean to me
probably more than i can justify,
but you see this mattering
has not been enough
because all that you haven’t left
is burning candle at both the ends,
for your own means
comprising priorities differing from mine
to an extent that today i stand diseased
with creeping dark hollowness;
and so i dare to ask
are you into me as much as i am into you?
i really wished the day before,
for the bills to be long enough
to barely fulfill our orders
so that i could see more of you
but the more i gazed at you,
the more my soul wandered
in your everlasting depths
that have become esoteric for me to swim across.
and so i couldn’t but trash
all that i had on my cards
for i could see myself
again falling for you
but i swear i didn’t want that to happen
and my heart was in a dilemma
constantly trying to seek permission
if i could fall in love with you again!
yester was the day i earnestly wished
for that cup of tea to last forever
so that no impediment with halts
could dare to break our chemistry
but then moon had to appear
reminding me of the following night.
my mind was ready to lose on you
but maybe there were some ties
not ready to let you go
and so i again called you to my room last night
for making love one last time
but you lacked warmth
forgetting the passion that once even made the stars dance
while i still pushed myself into you!
and so i ask you
if we still deserve to be together
despite despair moments of togetherness
with formal acts of cuddling
and also not missing on the silent dates lacking expression.
there are my bars i don’t see you climbing
there are those moments where you never make up for me
and maybe i won’t deny if you accuse me of the same charges
i do realize your growing concern for me
that last much more than an acquaintance
but don’t you think the steps we are treading
are leading us to nowhere!
all i can now reflect is only me
having hands on you
while you deal with commitments
more significant than us!
my love for you doesn’t allow me
to say but i have to
that we are still incomplete
to suffice each others’ needs
for you know we are wearing shoes
belonging to different pairs
that will probably never complement each other!